🔥 WebsiteRoaster
Free 60-second website audit

Your website is quietly losing you
customersdollarstrafficsalescustomers — and cash.

Slow pages, weak Google visibility and a clunky mobile experience cost real money every day. Get a brutally honest, plain-English roast that shows exactly what's broken — and what fixing it could add to your sales.

👇 Enter your website — it's 100% free

✔ Free  ·  ✔ No signup  ·  ✔ Plain-English results in under a minute

Powered by world-class technology

7% fewer sales for every 1 second your site takes to load
53% of mobile visitors leave if a page takes over 3 seconds
$100 returned for every $1 invested in better website experience
88% of customers won't come back after one bad website visit

Figures from published research by Google, Akamai, Forrester & Deloitte.

How it works · more than a report

We don't just find the problems.
We help you turn them into sales.

Most audit tools bury you in tech jargon. We connect every issue to the one thing you actually care about: revenue.

Step 1 · Find
🔍

See what's broken

We test your site like a real customer's phone — speed, Google visibility, mobile and trust — and score every part out of 100.

Step 2 · Understand
🗣️

Know what it's costing you

Every problem is explained in plain English, tied to real business impact — lost visitors, missed Google traffic, abandoned carts.

Step 3 · Grow
📈

Fix it & make more money

Get a prioritised action list. Fix the big wins first and watch more visitors turn into paying customers.

What's it worth?

A faster site can pay for itself many times over

Here's what a small improvement can mean for a typical small business.

Example: a local shop with 5,000 website visits a month · $80 average order
Before — slow & clunky
$8,000/mo
Visitors5,000
Turn into buyers2.0%
Sales100
→
After — fixed & fast
$12,000/mo
Visitors5,000
Turn into buyers3.0%
Sales150
That one-point jump in conversion is worth +$4,000 a month — around $48,000 a year.
Illustrative example. Your numbers will vary — the audit shows where your biggest wins are.
A taste of the roast

Real scores. Real problems. Zero jargon.

This is exactly what you get back — a scorecard and a verdict you can actually use.

🔒 yourshop.com — Roast Report
41 / 100
Critical
Overall website health
💸 Est. ~$1,900/mo in lost sales
SpeedLoads in 8.0s
32
Google / SEOHard to find
58
MobileClunky on phones
44
🔥 The Verdict

"Your homepage takes 8 seconds to load — that's enough time for a customer to find your competitor, read their reviews, and buy from them instead. Your site isn't broken, it's just quietly showing people the door."

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 Roast level: brutal
🤖
The Roast Master
AI-written · plain English · ready to share
Why business owners love it

Built for you — not your developer

💸

See the money leak

Every issue is tied to lost sales, bounced visitors and missed Google traffic — in dollars, not jargon.

⚡

Fast & free

A full audit in under a minute. Share the roast with your web person and get it fixed.

📱

Mobile-first checks

Most of your customers are on phones. We test the exact experience they get.

🔍

Google-ready SEO

Find out if you're invisible to search — and what's holding your rankings back.

🎯

Know what to fix first

A clear, prioritised list so you get the biggest sales boost for the least effort.

😂

Actually fun to read

A sharp, shareable roast that makes a boring audit something you'll want to send around.

Stop the bleeding 🩹

Find out what your website is really costing you

It's free, it takes 60 seconds, and it could be the most profitable minute of your week.

No signup. No catch. Just the honest truth.